


you're a piece of work (but i'll get it someday)

by liveonanon



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bad Flirting, Flirting, Frottage, Gen, Light Bondage, M/M, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Obliviousness, Phone Sex, Polyamory, Rope Bondage, Shibari, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 21:57:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveonanon/pseuds/liveonanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One thing that all the Generation of Miracles all have in common: they all want in on Kagami's pants.  Sadly for them, Kagami just doesn't get it.  But it's exactly his obliviousness and lack of shame that really pours fuel on the fire...</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're a piece of work (but i'll get it someday)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the tumblr kurobasu kink meme prompt [here](http://kurobasuanonmeme.tumblr.com/post/52657544357/gom-kagami-natural-angel), featuring Kagami as a 'natural angel' that doesn't understand that all the Kiseki want to get in his pants. After such a long hiatus, I really wanted to write something short-ish (haha, I called this short) and entertaining. It was refreshing to write something humorous and chock full of one of my favorite pairings (everybody/Kagami). Hope you enjoy it!

You're a piece of work (but I'll get it someday)  
(2013.10.07)

 

It started in a place quite far away from Kagami:

"Naa, Muro-chin. Did you ever fuck Kaga-chin?"

The supervisor watching over the school cafeteria gave a horrified look at Himuro's admittedly impressive spittake. Murasakibara, true to his lazy-yet-secretly-ninja reflexes, dodged to the side. Pumpkin soup splashed behind him, thankfully onto someone's backpack rather than their back.

After ten minutes of groveling, Himuro settled back to his now-cold dinner with a sigh. "Atsushi-kun," he began, and then abruptly wished Alex was there right next to him, wordlessly holding out her beer when Kagami showed up pleading for another sleepover. "Atsushi-kun...why the sudden question?"

A second later Himuro was very glad he hadn't taken that moment to actually drink something. "Because I wanna fuck him," Murasakibara answered.

Himuro's hand was halfway up to smacking his own forehead before he set it back down, clenching the edge of the table in an iron grip. "Atsushi-kun, if you like Taiga, you should go for it," he said finally. _Never mind the fact that you're 600 kilometers away to have a relationship._

Unconcerned, Murasakibara took a long slurp of his soda. "You think I can do it?"

Himuro gave his underclassman an endearing glance. "You can do anything if you try, Atsushi-kun."

"That doesn't always work." Both of them remembered the first Yousen vs. Seirin match morosely. "But this isn't basketball. What about Muro-chin? Did you ever like Kaga-chin? Did you ever have sex?"

"Atsushi-kun, the last time I saw him before I left America, I was sixteen."

"That would make him fifteen."

"That would make us both _minors_ , Atsushi-kun."

Again, Murasakibara shrugged. "Didn't stop us."

Himuro blinked. That mindblowing fact took a minute to settle in his head. Fortunately, Murasakibara gave him that minute as Himuro's mind exploded with images of young boys, all fueled by their hormones, finding a common thread in each other and tearing off each other's clothes -

\- alright, so maybe he _was_ just a tiny bit interested in boys.

But now wasn't the time to get caught up in his own sexual crisis. "I don't think that's going to work with Taiga," Himuro said, frowning.

"What do you mean?"

Himuro looked at him sympathetically. "Well, Taiga's always had really impressive control of his baser impulses."

"Like wanting sex?"

"Like wanting....yes, _that_." Both of them looked to where a particularly egregious couple was about a centimeter short of holding each other's waists and kissing like they were drawing their last breath. As it was, the cafeteria monitor was already glaring at the way they were holding hands and eyefucking each other. The matching "=GOLDEN PAIR: OISHI + KIKUMARU=" scrawled over their bookbags in screaming pink marker was a bit much, though.

"Oh." Murasakibara tilted his head. "But I don't want that. I just want to fuck him."

"Taiga's always channeled his passion into basketball. _With great success._ "

Murasakibara's eyes narrowed. "So you don't think I can do that."

"No, I just think it'll be really, really hard. He doesn't get clues. You have to...I don't know, tie him down and shove it in his face or something."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew there was going to be trouble. Murasakibara's eyes narrowed again, but this time thoughtfully. "I can do that," he said slowly.

"Oh no. No no no no Atsushi, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that wait _Atsushi_ \--!" Himuro yelped as he half-jogged to keep up with Murasakibara's long legs as he strode out of the cafeteria, plans solidifying even as he walked.

Which was why, despite Himuro's best protests and counterarguments, Kagami found himself tied to a chair during the next school vacation when Murasakibara made it home to Tokyo.

"Uh...what is this again?"

"Bondage," Murasakibara answered. Hmm, that was strange. He couldn't really feel any arousal in Kagami's tone, though he was sure to have practiced the rope-tying extensively on Akashi before he tried Kagami. Man, that favor would take years to pay off; even if he was sure Akashi had fun by the number of times he came, Teikou's old captain would never admit to enjoying being in a submissive position, unless there was something particularly advantageous in doing so.

"Bondage...like, ropes."

Kagami could be occasionally over-obvious. It was cute. "Uh-huh. Shibari, to be exact."

"Right. Um, my feet are still kind of free."

That was promising; Kagami was telling him what he wanted. "Do you want them tied down? Because I can do that."

"....no?"

That was puzzling. Why would he say that if he didn't want it? "I'm really positive that I can do it. It'll feel good, Kaga-chin." Akashi had liked it too, the soft, worn rope binding him down to the chair, every squirm making it clench tighter. Akashi had definitely done a lot of dignified squirming. And though he was initially put out that Murasakibara was putting so much time and effort into something (someone) that wasn't him, afterwards he couldn't quite hide his enthusiasm when they researched together some more. 

"Being tied up is supposed to make me feel good?" Uh-oh, that doubtful tone was worrying. Murasakibara was well aware some people just didn't have the same kinks. Case in point: Midorima, the control freak.

"We~ell, maybe," Murasakibara hedged.

Kagami digested that for a bit, and then said abruptly, "So, you're going to be a policeman or something? That overtanned bastard Aomine said he might do that too, if he can get through the police academy classes without falling asleep all the time."

_What?_ "I wanna be a cook. Or a baker. Or a patissier. What I really want to be is one of those people who get to try new flavors of ice cream every day, but I guess there's not really any classes about how to be a taste-tester."

That dissolved into a twenty-minute discussion of culinary classes, what schools to go to (and Murasakibara was well aware of Kagami's culinary skills, both of them excelled above and beyond in that field), pros and cons of going abroad for cooking school, and troubles with language that may or may not have to be tackled if they did so. It got to the point where Murasakibara gave up tying knots altogether and just sat down on another chair as he argued vehemently that yes, there were a bajillion pastry chefs in Japan, but he was damned sure he could find something new to offer the Japanese sweets-imbibing public.

The conversation was broken when Kagami suddenly crowed, "Aha!", and pulled his right, then his left hand free. "Gotcha!"

"Huh?" Murasakibara looked at the redhead's grinning face.

"Well, I mean, policeman's a good backup plan I guess, but man, you've gotta work on your knot-tying skills. I mean, that took me less than a half hour, and once the prisoner gets free, they could hop out of a window or something. Like in the movies, you know?" Kagami quickly undid all the careful bindings on his legs. "Dude, these were totally not tied tightly at all. Why would you use rope, anyway? As far as I know, policemen in every country are supposed to carry handcuffs."

"You'd like handcuffs?" Murasakibara asked hopefully.

"Well, it would make it harder for a prisoner to get out of," Kagami answered wrly. 

"So you have a jail kink?"

"Kink?" Kagami's head tilted to the side. For someone of his size (though Murasakibara was still much taller), he was just too precious sometimes. "You're weird. Like, hammering steel in a broken tailpipe or something?"

Murasakibara sure had felt like hammering _something_ a few minutes ago, but now he was finally starting to understand just what Himuro meant by his so-called younger brother's obliviousness. "Um, no?"

"No?" Now Kagami looked even more confused.

Murasakibara thought hard for an explanation. "Like - like what you like in bed. _Kinky._ You know."

"...I don't?" Casually Kagami picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "So hey, I gotta go. I'm meeting that overtanned bastard at the courts in Nakazaki ward, and if I don't leave now, I'm gonna be late and Kuroko's gonna have my head."

Desperately Murasakibara cast around for one last ploy. "You're hard," he said.

_That_ much Kagami got, by the way he looked down at his crotch. Unfortunately for Murasakibara, he didn't seem to really get anything else. "Uh, yeah. Happens when I concentrate. I mean, look at you - you're hard too. All that knot-tying took some focus, huh? See ya!"

Murasakibara was still staring at the ropes, wondering what the hell went wrong as Kagami left his house, whistling.

\-------------------

The courts were so hot that Aomine could see the waves shimmer and distort his sight of anything more than fifty meters away. Next to him, Kuroko seemed dead, facedown in the only part of the court benches that had shade, trying to soak up the scant degree of coolness from the metal. Aomine suspected it was in vain. The back of Kuroko's neck was already burning.

He had thought of a few different ways of approaching the subject ("Subtle, Dai-chan, _subtle!_ Do you even know what that word means!?" Momoi screeched in his ear far too often), but in the end he settled on the straightforward blunt way. Kuroko hated pussyfooting around the subject anyway, especially when it came to the important stuff. 

"Tetsu, I wanna fuck Kagami."

There was a moment of silence, and then Kuroko dragged his chin forward to look at his ex-partner. "Join the club," he said disheartenedly.

That made Aomine a bit concerned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he's just a bit unaware of sex and everything that goes along with it."

Aomine scoffed. "Dude, he's from America." Kuroko continued to stare at him unblinkingly. "They're like, super-promiscuous over there, right? Even in middle school he probably had a half-dozen circle jerks with the rest of his basketball pals. Probably even with that big brother of his or whatever."

"Himuro-san and Kagami-kun had a serious falling out," Kuroko reminded him.

"Yeah, but before that. I mean, you told me before about Kagami's pictures. You said he looked freaking cute when he was in middle school! There's no way someone wouldn't snatch that up!"

"You shouldn't make general statements of sexual depravity when you've never been there," Kuroko said levelly.

"As if you don't."

"I learned better," Kuroko said slowly. "Kagami-kun told me a lot of what's in Hollywood movies and such isn't true. At least not for him."

Aomine's spirits sank. "Like the free love shit?"

"Not in Kagami-kun's case, I think. His old mentor Alex was pretty protective of him, even though she herself wasn't guarded at all with kissing."

"Too bad it didn't pass to Kagami."

"Yes, it is too bad."

Any further talk was stalled as the gate scraped open. "Hey," Kagami called out, already sounding exhausted. "Sorry I'm late, Murasakibara was in town and had some sort of weird experiment for me."

"Weird experiment?" Kuroko said in a strange voice. "Was Akashi-kun there?"

"Not that I think so." Kagami shuddered at the memory of Teikou's ex-captain. "I think I'd know if that freaky guy was around."

"Akashi-kun isn't a freak," Kuroko admonished.

"Yeah alright, he's a really scary dude who's gonna become dictator of the world someday."

Aomine snickered. "I'm gonna tell him you said that."

"Just watch, he's not gonna deny it." Kagami had stripped off his shirt, gratefully moaning as he dunked some water of his head and wiped it off. 

Aomine couldn't help it, he licked his lips. If Kuroko was his kind of laviscious, he suspected Seirin's #11 would have done the same. "You're hot," he said in his best 'sexual predator' voice (Kise's description, not his). "We should ditch the court and go somewhere cooler."

Kagami's knee-jerk bolt of surprise in turn surprised Aomine. "What!? Hell no, I just spent twenty minutes hauling ass from the nearest station to play basketball in the middle of bumfuck nowhere because it's the only court within city limits that never has anybody practicing, and you wanna leave already!?"

Kuroko tapped his chin thoughtfully. "It _is_ secluded..." he trailed off. Aomine shot him a gratifying glance, glad that someone else was on the same page as him.

"I just think that if you're gonna parade around with your shirt off, you could do that at home."

Kagami snorted. "You just want more food," he surmised.

While Aomine wasn't going to refute that, it wasn't on the agenda today. Well alright, that was a lie, maybe later. "Not quite what I had in mind at the moment." He sauntered forward, his own bare chest gleaming under the sun. He resisted the urge to flex his pecs; while fun, that would probably just lead to more manly posturing instead of the hands-on happy hour that he was going for.

Kagami dribbled his ball in a circle idly before shooting. One side of Aomine's lips kicked up as he heard it swish through the net. _Argh, dammit, focus._ "I was thinking of eating something else."

Kagami shot him a humoring look. "Like what?"

A full-on grin as Aomine picked up one of Kagami's hands. "Like you."

Aomine liked hands. He liked how they could be rough or delicate but they were almost always sensitive somewhere. He especially liked how Kagami's always smelled good, from all the cooking and baking he did. Today they tasted like they looked; whatever he had for lunch had to be spicy. He nibbled at the pads of Kagami's fingers, grinning as Kagami tried to jerk his hand back. Then his tongue cut between the scissor of Kagami's fingers, sliding up and down before he bit down on the meat of Kagami's palm. 

He chanced a look up, and abruptly let go of Kagami's hand. The redhead had the strangest look on his face, like suddenly Aomine had started humming classical music and doing some frilly dance moves in the middle of the concrete before inviting Kagami to join him. His lips were pursed and his eyes narrowed. His jaw gritted a little as the cogs in his mind fruitlessly worked to figure out just what the hell Aomine was doing.

Behind both of them, Kuroko couldn't suppress a snort of laughter. Discreetly Aomine gave him the finger.

"Aomine, as much as I lo - err, respect, wait not that either - uh, as _bro_ as we are to each other, I can't really let you eat my hand. I kind of need it in order to play basketball."

"Can you just fuck off basketball for a minute?" Aomine sighed, exasperated.

Kagami gave him a 'duh' look. "Uh, I'm pretty sure I can say that you don't want me to fuck off basketball, _ever_."

"Alright, that is true," Aomine admitted. "But I was talking about this minute right now. With your hand."

"You biting and licking my hand," Kagami clarified.

"Uh, yeah, that." Now that it had been said out loud, it seemed all so salacious.

Kagami gave him a long look before rolling his eyes and walking back towards his bag. "Alright, look, fine, I admit it, you don't have to torture or confuse me anymore. I was thinking of you when I made it, and how you found out I brought honey lemons today, I have no idea because I didn't tell anyone." He brought out a box of - Aomine almost wet his pants in glee - Kagami's wonderful, gorgeous, sparkling honey lemon slices that beat everyone's, Sakurai's included, by a long fucking distance.

Aomine lunged for the box, as well as - predictably - Kuroko. They had a brief tug of war before Kagami sat down in the scant shade between them. Aomine got honey all over his favorite basketball shorts and he didn't even care. On the other side of Kagami, Kuroko was popping in slices as soon as they would fit in his mouth, eyes half-lidded in orgasmic enjoyment.

After the last slice had been regretfully consumed and the honey mixture licked off the box (Aomine did the honors, saying it was a damn fine waste as Kagami took pictures on his phone, laughing his ass off; Kuroko looked like he might fight Aomine for it), Aomine abruptly remembered the conversation that had gotten completely derailed. Only problem was, now he felt all happy and full of lemon slices, which made him disinclined to move.

He could still talk, though. "Shit, that was good," he groaned, head clunking back on the fence.

"Thanks."

"But not as good as you." He leered, but Kagami just laughed.

"Dude, I had Thai curry for lunch, I'm pretty sure I didn't taste like lemon slices."

"Your underlying flavor made up for it."

Kagami gave him a bemused look. "You mean my sweat? If you like it so much, hold still and I'll shake my head for you." There was a sparkling film of sweat at Kagami's hairline.

"Uh, no," Aomine was quick to reply. At close range he would have gotten a faceful of Kagami's hair if he shook it like a dog. "In uh, small doses. And a cooler environment."

"Didn't stop you on the court."

That one was just too easy to pass up. "You should know by now, _nothing_ stops me on the court."

"Not even the boner you're popping right now?" Kagami pointed out bluntly.

_How nice of him to notice._ "No, not even that. I even went commando this time for easy access and all that." Fast as lightning, he bit down on Kagami's shoulder. The redhead jumped, but again he just laughed.

"Funny, that's what Kuroko does too!" Aomine shot a glare at his once-partner. Kuroko gave him a wide-eyed innocent look in return. "Geez, I wonder if you Miracles are all gonna turn out to be biters."

"We are," Kuroko and Aomine said as one. Kagami snickered.

"How about we play naked? I mean, as you said there's nobody around for kilometers. And then you can see how my boner won't stop me from taking what I want." Ooh, the thought of seeing Kagami in nothing but socks, sneakers and sweat, giving Aomine the perfect back view of his ass as he dunked - the mental image made his dick twitch.

Kagami laughed, but then seeing as Aomine wasn't kidding, gave him a strange look. "Aomine, it's almost forty degrees Celsius right now. Your cock would totally get sunburned unless you put suntan lotion on it."

And wasn't _that_ the nicest thought ever, Kagami's sizzling-hot fingers rubbing him all over. "You could do it," Aomine suggested hoarsely.

"Your hands aren't occupied, man. Do it yourself." Oh, but they could be occupied, if Kagami was sitting in his lap and Aomine could give that pert ass a nice, lasting double-squeeze.

"But I still think you should keep your pants on. I mean, you never know if some girl's gonna walk by and faint because she saw your junk swinging all over the place."

"You think I'm hot?" Aomine pressed.

"...sure?" Kagami looked confused. "But I was more thinking along the lines that she would probably have a friend because girls never travel by themselves and that friend would probably call the police and then we'd all get arrested in public indecency charges."

"We'd probably get off easy because we're minors," Kuroko offered helpfully. His eyes warned Aomine from taking the one-upmanship any further; though Kagami was usually a fount of good old common sense on par with Momoi, the two of them had a love of rivalry that could push past propriety, given the right amount of incentive.

"Uh, yeah." Kagami looked unsettled at the thought of lawsuits. "Keep your pants on, geez Aomine, you're gonna turn into a nudist at this rate."

"Yes, since Aomine-kun is always tromping around Kagami-kun's house in boxers," Kuroko commented.

"Hey, gotta show off the goods when I can. Cuz, you know, _I'm so hot_."

"Aomine-kun is an ahou," Kuroko deadpanned.

"Hey!"

"Funny, that's exactly what Kise said when he came over last week. He was also prancing around nude. Man, can't a guy live his life without seeing other guy's junk all the time?"

"You're the ace of an all-boys basketball team," Kuroko pointed out.

"Yeah, not exactly the lifestyle choice of a guy who wants to appreciate the female figure," Aomine added.

"Fuck you, I like basketball, I could just go less with the crazy people showing up in my house and trying to cuddle me naked. I mean, you I could understand, you're like me, you don't give a shit. i really expected Kise to keep his clothes on, since he actually _likes_ clothes. Or Midorima. Or Akashi."

Both Kuroko and Aomine gulped at the thought of Akashi naked. On the very surface it meant Akashi trusted whomever he was naked in front of (unsurprising, since Kagami was the least duplicitous person Aomine had ever met, something that Akashi would have undoubtedly picked up on); on the other hand, it usually also signaled _play_. Yet Kagami seemed to have survived through the ordeal with his virginity intact.

Silently Kuroko and Aomine agreed to let that particular bear lie until they got more information. Aomine tried to laugh it off. "Yeah uh, you know us, we're all bros here."

The smile Kagami gave him was entirely too endearing and sweet; it made Aomine feel like a sinner just thinking about Kagami that way. "Yeah," Kagami said. "We're, um, bros." His face made it clear that he wasn't sure how Miracle friendship just fell into his lap out of the blue, but that he was grateful for it.

And sometimes, quite literally in Kuroko's case. The pale shadow straddled Kagami's waist in one quick move. He took off his shirt too, tossing it to the side. Kagami's hands settled automatically on Kuroko's waist.

With a look of _Just watch and learn, Aomine-kun_ , Kuroko scooted forward and hugged Kagami as hard as he could. Amused, Kagami hugged back. "Koala impression again, Kuroko?" he asked, voice muffled in Kuroko's shoulder. "If you like hugging so much, you should go to America. You get tons of hugs from girls every day, if you make friends with them."

Kuroko bit Kagami's shoulder where Aomine had, just a few minutes before. It was a surprisingly sexy move. "I only want to hug Kagami-kun."

"Wow, you make me sound like your personal oversized teddy bear."

"Kagami-kun's size is perfect," Kuroko sighed. Enviously Aomine watched as Kuroko shifted in Kagami's lap for a better perch, bringing their crotches in close contact. 

And then Kuroko really started to shift, jerking up and down in a rhythm that Aomine recognized well. It was slow at first, and then sped up little by little. Each stroke was hard and long and Aomine's mouth watered at the want in Kuroko's eyes. He could push both of them down right now, jerk off against Kuroko's thigh -

Kuroko reached out, fingernails scraping over a nipple, and Kagami burst out into raucous laughter at the touch.

"What the - dude stop - _Kuroko_ you know I'm hahahaha - dude seriously! - h-hey haha humm geez I said stop!" Kagami batted Kuroko's hands away, grinning. Kuroko had a twitch on the side of his mouth too, which was as good as a full-blown belly laugh for him. Despite the bumping and grinding, the fond look in their eyes spoke of some truth deeper than simple physical desire. It made Aomine feel even more like a heel for his base intentions.

Kuroko slumped onto his 'light' despite the heat. "I love Kagami-kun," he said softly.

Kagami's laugh was like the rumble of far-off thunder. "Love ya too, Kuroko," he muttered back, grinning a silly grin. Aomine tried to be manly and stave off the gushy feelings the scene made him feel, but it was a moot exercise in the end. He grinned too.

And then he realized that the roll of the thunder wasn't just his imagination. He looked up to see the sky had grown rapidly dark with one of Japan's summer storms. "Uh, guys -" he began.

He didn't get any further as the skies took that moment to open down on them in buckets and buckets of water. The lightning and rolling thunder did the rest to send them home packing.

\-----------------

"Ugh, shit," was the first thing Kise heard after the door slammed. It was followed by the sound of a very wet gym bag landing with a watery _splat!_ on the floor, followed by several more curses.

And then the blond was treated to the marvelous vision of Kagami walking into his own apartment in nothing but a pair of soaked boxers that did nothing to hide his impressive package. Even better, the redhead stopped dead at what was happening on his couch right that moment. _Stationary eye candy, yay!_ "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, nonplussed. "I haven't even started dinner yet."

Kise batted his eyes coquettishly. "What, we can't visit just for the pleasure of your company, Kagamicchi?"

"Speak for yourself," Midorima retorted, talented fingers kneading a particularly sore spot. Kise's groan was heartfelt and unfeigned as his hips shifted into Kagami's couch. He hoped he wouldn't be put to work to clean up the wet spot that he was currently dribbling on it, though. 

Kagami shook his head, already resigned to making dinner for three. Both Kise and Midorima's eyes followed the sway of Kagami's hips out of sight as he went to scrounge up some dry clothes. "Heat's making everyone go crazy." Kise couldn't agree with that more; visions of Kagami, every inch of sun-kissed skin visible and available to touch, circled through his head like an endless merry-go-round. Oh, what he would do if tonight's plan went through. Or rather, what _wouldn't_ he do.

"You want anything in particular?" Kagami yelled.

"Surprise us!" Kise yelled back. Midorima mumbled something about "loud idiots". His hands never stopped massaging, though.

Kagami poked his head back into the room to (presumably) tell them dinner was ready when he saw they had switched. "You, massage?" he scoffed. "I would have thought you were a little too ADHD to concentrate on any activity for that long."

"So mean," Kise pouted. "Basketball games are long, and I can still concentrate there. Plus, I like massaging. I like touching other people." He gave Kagami a sultry look from under his lashes, but as expected it flew right over Kagami's head. "Why, you wanna try?"

Kagami scratched his head in thought. "Will it take long?"

"That depends on you," Kise said truthfully. "How long do you want it to be?"

Kagami didn't answer, just took off his apron and came to the couch. Eagerly Kise stripped him of his shirt and sat him down between him and Midorima.

Midorima, still mostly silent until now, grabbed Kagami's shoulders around and started to massage before Kise could. "Wha - hey! Midorimacchi~i!" Kise whined. "I wanted to do that!"

"There's lots more to massage," Midorima pointed out.

And boy, was there _ever_ \- except until he was sure Kagami wasn't going to kick him in the face for touching him inappropriately, Kise still had to stick by the rules. _They're more like guidelines anyway - no, no no no bad Kise_ , he scolded himself. 

"I don't know how to massage legs," Kise admitted sullenly.

"Feet, then. Start with the wet cloth, then oil one foot, put the foot over the towel..." Kise followed Midorima's instructions doubtfully. Kagami had big feet - Kise thought briefly to that thing that people said about men with big feet, noting it was spot-on in Kagami's case - that didn't look differently to Kise at first, but as he started to massage, he realized he did feel a difference. Kagami's skin was somewhat moist, probably from the shower he had taken not long before. His toes seemed stubbier than Kise's in proportion to the rest of his foot. And he didn't seem to have any problem with letting his foot lean on Kise's dick.

It still didn't move when Kagami gave his first groan. The second one was louder and more heartfelt. He shifted his hips but didn't move his foot. His breathing got heavy and as Kise flexed the foot back and forth, bending, rubbing, digging his fingers into the muscles, Kagami's moans turned into whimpers. 

"God, you guys," he whispered. His head was leaning against Midorima's shoulder, and Midorima's hands had migrated to Kagami's biceps at some point. It was less than a massage and more like a shameless excuse to touch Kagami, it seemed. Aware of Kise's eyes, Midorima began to massage Kagami's shoulders again, making Kagami's breath drag as he added, "Oh shit, I'm usually ticklish everywhere but you guys - your hands -"

"You like that, Kagamicchi?" Kise purred.

The foot shifted against Kise's cock, curling the arch on top of it. Kise thought it was on purpose for a moment before it straightened again. Seeing the toes flex made the blood pound in Kise's head; the urge to rub against Kagami's foot was so strong Kise barely tamped it down. He was relieved and disappointed that he was still in his boxers; if Kagami had arrived just ten minutes later, he and Midorima probably would have gotten it on to the point that they were both buck-naked.

Speaking of... "Wha - what's with all of you guys and being naked, anyway? Aomine was talking about nudist stuff today."

Midorima and Kise exchanged a look. "Did he tell you he wasn't wearing underwear?" Kise hazarded.

"Yeah! And he kept threatening to take everything off and play basketball like that!" Kise could picture it in his head now; _threatening_ probably wasn't the right word to describe Aomine. Maybe _suggesting_. Or _persistently reminding_.

Kagami's ankle twitched as Kise moved on from the foot. Now the blond worked down from the knee, tucking one of Kagami's legs over his shoulder. His calves were stiff, hard muscles that twitched under his touch as he made circles with his thumbs. His hands made slick sounds as they moved slowly, working inexorably towards the prize.

Kise's breathing deepened too, when he saw how open Kagami was. He hadn't fought when Kise took up his foot. Hadn't fought when Kise put it in his own lap. Hadn't fought when Kise and Midorima had spread his legs so that his half-arousal was obvious from the first second it started developing. The redhead seemed to be clinging to the back of the couch by sheer willpower alone.

He shared a wordless look with Midorima. _Got him right where we want him._

And then three things happened in quick succession: Kagami lost his grip on the back of the couch and cracked his head against Midorima's jaw; something started beeping and sizzling in the kitchen; and Kagami's stomach gurgled very loudly.

"Shit!" Kagami yelped and jumped up. A second later they heard cursing and muttering from the kitchen. "Oh good, it's not burned. Hey guys! Dinner's ready!"

It was such a one-eighty turnaround of events that Kise was left a little blindsided. After a minute though, he crumpled bonelessly against Midorima, who gave him a commiserating pat. "What the hell," Kise whimpered. "I swear I'm doing all the right things. I took off my shirt. I showed off my body. I made myself available whenever he might be interested. If this was one of my fans, I would have been enthusiastically jumped by now. What the _fuck?_ "

"Obliviousness isn't a crime. And you can come over to my house later," Midorima consoled him.

"It should be a freaking crime," Kise muttered back. "I hope you don't mind if I call out the wrong name tonight."

Midorima would never admit playfulness, but there was definitely an element of that in the way he slapped Kise's ass in answer.

\----------------

"Hello?"

"Taiga. Good evening." Akashi shifted the phone to the other side and lay down on his futon. The moonlight through the shoji screens were a nice touch, though he didn't plan it. They were somewhat conductive to the activity at hand.

"Akashi? Uh, hi. Why are you calling me for the fifth night in a row?"

"How are you today?" he asked, sidestepping Kagami's question.

"....I'm fine?"

"What did you eat for dinner?"

"Um, chicken cream stew over rice and vegetable saute?"

"I heard you saw Atsushi today."

A long silence. "Uh, yeah, he had this uh, experiment to show me. It was really weird," Kagami confessed. "He tied me up with these ropes to this chair but they weren't tight enough and I got out of them in about thirty minutes. Hey uh, is he doing the same thing as Aomine? Going into the police academy after school?"

"No," Akashi said blandly. It was testament to his self-control that his voice kept cool even though his brain was wildly spinning with _Atsushi? Policeman? But all he'll ever do is eat donuts!_ "I think he's quite serious about going to cooking school. I also think he hopes you'll go with him."

"Naw, I like basketball. More than cooking, at any rate, though I do like cooking for other people. Just people that I do know - hey, speaking of, Kise and Midorima stopped by for dinner tonight."

"Did they." Akashi willed his breath to stay calm and he couldn't. Instead he put the mute on for his end and took out his cock quickly. 

To the sounds of Kagami talking cheerfully, his hips jerked into his fist. "Oh yeah, I think Kise found the key under the mat. Heh, that thing's supposed to be hidden but I guess it's pretty obvious, huh? He and Midorima were massaging each other when I came in from the downpour on the couch. They got massage oil everywhere so I made them clean it up after dinner." _I bet they did._ "Kise also tried this foot massage thing on me. It felt really good."

Then perhaps one of the other Miracles got lucky after all, Akashi sighed. It was hard, being attracted to someone over such a far distance with only phone calls to connect the two of them. Or rather, _he_ was hard. Hard-pressed not think about Kagami being stupid and innocent and kneeling at his feet in any matter of submissive fantasies. And then _really_ hard-pressed not to jump on the bullet train and make all of those dreams come true.

_Just once I would want to hear you say it_ , Akashi thought as his fist moved faster. _Just once in your voice: 'Master Akashi'._

"Akashi?" Kagami's query brought him back to the present. "Um, hello?"

He un-muted the phone. "You've never had a foot massage before?" he asked, somewhat breathlessly.

"Uh, I haven't had any massages in my life, ever," Kagami replied.

"I'm sure they would be willing to help you out whenever you want." _If I can't get some, then hopefully a friend will._

"Uhh yeah, not sure about that. I don't really know if I like it."

"You don't like massages?" There went one of his fantasies. Oh well, he had plenty more. "Why not?"

He could almost hear Kagami squirming on the other end. "Well...it made me feel...weird."

That could be good or bad. "Weird as in good or bad?"

Another long pause. "I don't know?" Kagami said weakly.

"So it made you feel too good," Akashi surmised. Ha, maybe there was some chance for the massage fantasy after all. Kagami could play the dutiful mafia bodyguard and then Akashi his 'young master' who wanted to thank his loyal servant for all of his hard work. And maybe he could bend Kagami over a low couch - master's prerogative, after all. Yes, bend him over like that for a few hours. Mentally Akashi gave an approving nod. The fantasy would have a) hot, submissive Kagami, b) yukatas, and c) maybe truth, someday. He would have to push harder for Kagami to join the police academy with Aomine; with training, the two of them could become truly excellent bodyguards-with-benefits.

"I didn't say that!" Kagami squawked.

"You shouldn't hedge, you're very bad at it." Which was cute, considering who Kagami's 'older brother' was. Or maybe it was because Himuro was such a good liar that he always covered for his cute 'younger brother' so that Kagami never had to. "But however it made you feel, I encourage you to explore it further."

"Why?" The doubt and stubborn suspicion made Akashi smile.

"Because things change over time, and you might come to like it." There was a thought - _Kagami, coming_. "After all, we're all part of your life now, aren't we?"

"Yeah." Mixed with the exasperation and grudging fondness, there was a hesitant, aching vulnerability that Akashi ruthlessly wanted to stamp out. "You're all my...friends."

It never failed to make Akashi's heart warm when he heard that. "I count you as one of my few too, Kagami," he answered honestly, if remotely. Despite the difference in wealth, time, and locations in Kagami's life, he really did _understand_. It was a priceless gift that Akashi kept close to his heart, not showing the depth of his emotions to anyone, not even Kagami.

The words alone seemed to be enough, because Kagami answered with a little huff of laughter. "I guess, though Kise probably needs some practice, he massaged a little hard today. Midorima was better, he knows how to use his hands." Akashi could attest to that. "I saw Aomine and Kuroko too," he added, and once again Akashi muted himself. 

His body strained on the futon as he stroked. "Kuroko's like a koala," Kagami said. Akashi could feel the bite of familiar loneliness, though Kagami was as well-adjusted as any of their peers could be; he could sympathize with the lack of parents around, the aimless way the human brain seemed to go in all directions without something, someone to focus on. 

"He clings to me sometimes, all arms and legs, and I carry him around because he won't let me go," Kagami continued. "Aomine tried it too when we got to Maji Burger, but so many people stared that Kuroko made him stop before we all got kicked out. Plus, that guy is damned heavy. Must be all of that muscle."

He did have plenty of that. He also used it well; Akashi was pretty sure that hadn't changed. He un-muted again. "Tetsuya is very fond of you," he noted.

"Yeah, he's a good partner - shit."

A pause. "Taiga?"

"Dude, you know you're like the only person outside of Tatsuya that calls me that in Japan?"

It sounded more like Kagami was hyperaware of that. "Yes, you've said that before. What's wrong?"

"I, uh, I lost count. I was doing bicep curls like the coach suggested. I'm wondering if I should put another weight on it."

Akashi had to blink from the dizzy, heady feeling he got when he imagined Kagami sitting on his couch, weights scattered around him, one hand on the phone with him and the other flexing his arm, up and down, up and down. A movement like that would stimulate the whole shoulder; if Kagami was bare-chested undoubtedly Akashi would see his shoulders, neck, and chest pull too. He would inhale whenever he brought the weight up, and exhale a number when he could let it back down. Such control was amenable to Akashi, he could definitely make great use out of it -

"If you feel like it," Akashi said.

He must have sounded breathy enough for Kagami to be concerned, because his next question was, "Akashi? Are you alright?"

"Fine. I'm..." _Completely turned out because you're so totally unaware._ "...doing some mild exercising myself. Say, what do you think of me, Taiga?"

"You're...scary?"

It was such an earnest answer that Akashi had to bite his lip hard to keep from laughing aloud. As it was, his lips split into a grin anyway, aimed at the ceiling. _Fool_ , he thought fondly. _But an honest fool you remain._ He didn't hold out for that kind of innocence, though - sooner or later he would get a clue and the time would be ripe for Akashi and the other Miracles to 'educate' him.

"What's your training menu?" Kagami rattled off torso, arms, shoulders, legs, abdomen, glutes (and Akashi had to wrench his mind away from what he thought was probably a desire shared by every Miracle - the urge to squeeze Kagami's fine ass), and finally, the whole body put together. The analytical part of Akashi's mind distantly approved; the in-the-moment part of Akashi lusted for photographic proof.

"Why don't you count out loud? Then you won't lose your place again."

It was easy then, to lose himself in the whisper of Kagami's voice from kilometers and kilometers away. Better yet, Seirin's jumping ace liked to count down during muscle training. Once the mute was back on, Akashi could lose himself freely in the motion of his hands, trailing over his chest and thighs. It wasn't the first time he had imagined guiding Kagami there, between his legs, putting one big hand on Akashi's cock, showing him how Akashi liked to be worked. He would train him well, he would bestow kisses and touches when Kagami did well, this toy that he never thought he would like or want, yet had gained access to anyway -

"Seven...six...five -"

His other hand went down to scrape the inside of his legs, leaning upwards as he did so. "Kagami," he whispered into the empty confines of his room. But it wasn't empty, because Kagami was still filling it up with his voice, his numbers.

"Four...three...two..."

His fist was a blur as he readied himself for the plunge, eyes falling shut, head falling hard against the pillow as his hips strained and his toes bit into the futon -

" _One._ "

His vision became a blanket field of white and flickers of static milling around the edges as he came with a shout, so glad that the phone was on mute, so thankful Kagami couldn't hear him being perverse and lewd and manipulative. 

He didn't hear Kagami speaking because his ears rang for a full minute. "Hello? Akashi? You there? Hello?" Akashi struggled to keep from panting but he felt wrung out and used and so, so relaxed.

In the end it was too late to regain his cool. With one last, "Huh, he must've dropped off to sleep or something," the call disconnected. That meant Akashi was left with the sobering realization of _I just jacked off to Taiga's voice_ and then the even more sobering thought of _And I want more than that._

Well look at that. He might really have a heart after all.

After he had come to terms with the latter part, he cleaned himself up and saved the entire recorded call to his Cloud drive with the rest of Kagami's calls. It took him no time at all to fall in a sweet, black, dreamless sleep.


End file.
